It’s almost always the first thing that people say when they meet my daughter.
Some mean it as a compliment, others not so much. Some go as far to ask, “what are you gonna do with it?”, “Do you just want to cut it off?”, etc.
Her hair is beautiful, it has a mind of it’s own and I’m not denying that, but just because it goes a little wild when I haven’t primped it up with a little product, doesn’t mean that it is isn’t gorgeous…just like her.
I grew up with wild hair. It was always a little more frizzy, a little more curly and a little more crazy than everyone else’s.
I spent most of my childhood with it pulled back in a ponytail, like most other active little girls, and then I spent my high school, college and young adult years straightening the heck out of it – trying to get every curl, wave and any little bit of body that was left out.
It wasn’t until I was a mom, when I no longer had time to straighten my hair 3-4 times a week, that I really needed to learn how to “work with what I got”. I needed to finally embrace what my own mother had been telling me for years, “just let it be!”
It’s not that changing your hair is somehow inherently evil, I mean we all want what we don’t have, right?
While that might be right, I wish we could all like what we do have, too.
Why can’t we like what we have AND what other people have? These things mean so much more to me now that I have children of my own. I desperately want them to love themselves, in a non-conceited, deeply satisfied way. I want them to look in the mirror and be able to counter any negative thought with a positive thought. I want them to love themselves and to be able to see their beauty as they were created, in the image and likeness of God.
That’s important to me.
And that’s what I want my daughter to know when it comes to her hair, that what she’s got is beautiful. We can wash it with this shampoo, add that product to it or style it in any such way…but it’s also beautiful just the way it is. It’s what I wish I had accepted about my own hair so many years ago.
So, the real question comes down to this: How do we expect our children to love who they are when we, their role models and biggest influencers, are constantly putting ourselves down?
It’s time we stop. It’s time we learn to love ourselves too.
Embrace who you are today, it doesn’t mean we can’t strive for change, but it means we are satisfied with where we are while knowing where we are going.
Just this morning I looked in the mirror, and as the Florida humidity drew out a ringlet around my ear, I looked at it and I left it there. I didn’t tuck it behind my ear or try to change it’s shape. I left it and I said to myself, “people would kill for that curl!” and I walked away.