It takes a village to raise a child. It really does. Today’s world gives us villages of all kinds – some are made up of our family or neighbors, some are made up of our old school friends scattered throughout the country and others are women that we’ve never even met, we just know them intimately from these groups on social media and, despite being so far away from each other, we find ourselves deeply connected.
These villages do so much good, but sometimes they can leave us in a place where we feel more alone than ever…because sometimes these villages don’t give us anything but passed judgements.
If you know me, if you follow me at all, one thing you know by now is that I am not in the business of parent shaming. I’m a big believer in the January Harshe philosophy #youdoyou. And I’m serious, if you are caring for your children (and obviously not causing harm) then it’s okay for your parenting style not to look the same as you best friends, cousins or neighbors.
Just a month before I release my #attachedtosleep course, which helps parents to navigate the ins and outs of sleep training while ensuring and catering to secure attachments with a focus on that parent-child bond, I’ve received a lot of hate in my inbox and comments.
And really, I just don’t get it. If it doesn’t pertain to you, or you disagree with it, just pass on by!
Some of us like to cosleep, some of us like to sleep train and have our kids sleep independently. That’s okay.
Some of us potty train over a course of a few months and others do it in 3 quick days. That’s okay.
Some of us breastfeed and some of us formula feed. That’s okay.
Some of us choose all organic food and some of us choose convenient food. That’s okay.
Take care of your children the best way you know how. Love your children as much as you can….and just do your best.
It’s okay if it doesn’t match up with what everyone else is doing or saying (because there is a lot of saying and not a lot of doing).
Be you, be confident in the mother you are because you are probably doing a damn good job. Don’t let haters get to you, just try to make informed decisions.
And one last thing. Please, I beg of you – don’t be one of the haters. It’s okay to voice your opinion, it’s okay to state your case, but don’t judge the other mamas that are different. One of my favorite author’s a researchers, Brene Brown, tells us to assume everyone is doing their best all the time. If we live by that, if we choose to view others like that, it takes away judgement and it’s a beautiful perspective to walk through life with.
Be nice to one another. Be a village that supports, not a village that judges.
You are enough.
If you are looking to get more sleep and sleep training actually is something you would like to explore more, grab my FREE checklist: The 5 Essentials for Bedtime Sleep, which is a great starting point for those that are struggling with their kids’ sleep AND it will get you on the waitlist for my sleep course, #attachedtosleep, which arrives August 2017.