All by myself
October 4, 2016
I’m a good mom – whether you think I am or not
November 4, 2016
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Today I sit here and realize that I’m not the mom I was yesterday and I know I’m not the mom I will be tomorrow.

Motherhood, momming, parenting, whatever you want to call it – it changes each and every day. It depends on how much sleep I got last night, how I was woken up, what the weather is like, how I’m feeling, how my children are behaving, the people that I see and the things I am focused on, etc.

The mom that I am is dependent on so many different variables that it sometimes seems easy to lose direction on what my goals and visions as a mother really are.

Yesterday I believed fiercely that my decision to keep my son home with while he is 3 instead of sending him to preschool was the best thing for him AND for me. Today, as I look at preschool applications for next year I doubt my decision that I was so firmly grounded in yesterday.

Wednesday we ate dinner and I listened to my son say grace without our help and I couldn’t wait to them to church on Sunday. But when I woke up this morning I had to convince myself that I would really regret not going as I threw together some outfits, hurried the kids through breakfast and rushed everyone out the door.

I woke up last week determined to avoid screen time for the kids as much as I could. That went well until yesterday when I needed a minute to get something done and handed them the iPads.

A month ago I told my husband that I didn’t want my kids to play hockey or football because I’m too scared of concussions/injuries and what that means for them. Last week when my son started to show interest I had different feelings.

These are all perfect examples of how my mothering changes every single day. I am not the mom I was yesterday, I am not the mom I was month or last year because I’m not the same person I was yesterday, last month or the last year.

And that’s actually what’s important here that we forget all to often – standing behind that strong mother that protects and defends her children, stays up late worrying about decisions that affect them and has reprioritized her life to make sure they are first – stands a woman. A woman that wakes up and has good days and bad days, a woman that loses her temper and makes rash decisions. A woman that is successful and one that has made many mistakes.

In my day to day life I have learned that I will never be the mom I was yesterday again, the same way I can’t be the mom I was today again. I can try my best and love them unconditionally, stay true to my values and do the best I can.

Trying to be something other than the person we can be today isn’t going to help. Here’s the moms we are today, heres to the women we are in this moment.

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